In 2015 I stopped identifying as a Christian. This was a huge change to my sense of identity. My whole life I had called myself a Christian and in my adult years, I was a devout follower and deeply faithful. But even in my most ardent times, I experienced doubt and uncertainty. I was often riddled with guilt, feeling like I was never good enough, I was never faithful enough, and I had committed too many sins for forgiveness. The more I read my Bible, the more questions I had. One day I realized I no longer believed in what I was taught to believe. At first, I was angry, angry that my faith had failed me, angry at those who still believed, angry because I felt lied to and naive. I also felt panic. What if I was making the wrong choice and who do I cry out to in moments of desperation? But eventually the anger and panic faded. I was able to freely explore and find my own meanings and understandings of spirituality. I felt that a burden had been lifted and I was left with clarity and peace. For a long time, I was reluctant to talk about my loss of faith and religious identity for fear of being negatively labeled by those around me. But this experience has been positive and one of the best things that could have happened to me. I am making this body of work, not only for myself as a way to openly express my experience with losing my religious identity and the positive impact it has had on my life, but for others who may be feeling reluctant to talk about their experiences.
Weight Of These Words
Tract Infection
Decaying Faith
Reluctant Communion
Tree Without Roots
Discarded
